yeah, it's here and the funny thing is no one "wants" to talk about it but everyone does!
the same theories are floated, the same rants are belched, and the same pledges to resolve or surrender are made.
what am i talking about?
yup, relationships and
that dating thing. there is a veritable cornucopia of blogs out there with numerous posts dedicated, for better or worse, to the subject of dating, relationships and those mysterious members of the opposite sex. but i have to say my thing.
long story short, since moving to orange county, in the few limited social engagements i have attended, i have found that the dating discussion is just as alive and kicking (notice i didn't say 'well') as it is in LA. having participated in more than my fair share of these discussions, again for better or worse, i am all too familiar with the many assumptions, misconceptions and blame-shifting we are ALL guilty of. i bring this all up not as a complaint but to share the actions of a friend, whom shall remain nameless yet deserves the credit-i think- for making some change happen.
late one evening after watching lost or playing guitar hero or seeing a movie that none of the girls were interested in, the guys were hanging out somewhere. the dating talk started, and one guy simply said something like "i'm done talking about it..." but it wasn't a compliant, it was the preamble to his basic plan of action. he had decided we could all, boys and girls, talk ALL we want, but things were NOT going to change until two simple things occurred.
first, guys need to ask girls out. plain and simple.
second, girls need to say 'yes'. plain and simple.
and with that a sort of challenge was issued. not like a wager, not a "hey i bet i can get a date before you can", just a legitimate-"start asking, start dating and it'll happen"
want proof it works? go visit the ward i came from. i think my friend's simple actions spoke FAR louder than all the endless months of our talking and when i left LA i felt as though i were the only one NOT dating, but that was deliberate because i was moving, but i did suddenly feel like it was easier to do the asking. and it seemed like the girls were saying yes.
it ain't easy, but it is SIMPLE.
we've made this whole process too damn complicated, i have heard all the reasons, the pros and cons, the horror stories, the success stories. i'll still hypothesize, discuss, and have dr.laura moments, there is comfort in talking about the things that give us anxiety, but when it comes down to it, i gotta ask, and she's gotta say yes. it isn't a guarantee but it's a start.
